Letting Go

Tyler is will be 3 in 3 months. And last night I got a reality check I wasn't ready for. The thought and talk about putting him a 3 year old program. (pre preschool) As Derek and I were looking a school choices and the time he would be in school my heart broke. I go so emotional I couldn't stand it. I don't want him to be gone all day. I can't imagine my day with out him. I don't want  to let go! We have been up and down about homeschool and private school and what to do. And well I now am 100% convinced I want to do homeschool. But on the flip side I know I can't make that decision based off of feelings and not wanting my boy to grow up. There are so many pros and cons to both. But I have not been able to find a whole lot of homeschool support or groups in are local town. Maybe I just don't know how or what to search to find them.  Which has me worried I won't be able to get Tyler involved enough with homeschool. Either way I want my 3 month old little baby boy back. I can't stand the thoughts of him not being my baby anymore. But rather a big boy ready for school.  I have only been away from him two nights. And he has only had someone watch him for 6 hours without Derek or I being there once. Then maybe 4 times left with someone for a couple of hours thats it.  He goes and does everything with us.  I need to start letting go but how does one do that?